Changes...

Today as I sit here and watch Aiden crawl around and be independent I just can't believe we have survived ten months of his tiny little life. I looked back at my blog today to some of the posts before I had Aiden and it seems like just yesterday I was taking "belly pics" and getting everything prepared for him to come. I remember I was so anxious to be induced and when he was here all I could thing was...man, all those nights I sat up thinking and watching TV I should have been sleeping. Especially after Aiden was born and I was up all night every night. Now that he has gotten older, I realize how bad I had postpartum depression. I was very very depressed when I had Aiden. I don't feel like I really "enjoyed" being a mommy or having such an angel until he was about 4 months. I wish I could go back and not worry so much about the small things and enjoy the beginning of his life. I would just worry and worry about every single aspect of his and my life. I worried about him eating, sleeping, his rashes, if he cried I felt a feeling of sheer panic, I wondered if his stomach hurt, or if he had gas, or if he was sleepy. It was a constant worry I never, ever relaxed and enjoyed him. So to all the new mothers reading this, or soon to be moms don't worry about the small things. Everything will be fine. As long as you give your child the love and care the they need everything will be ok. I promise. One day may be harder than the other but in the end everything will work out!
Anyways, I also wanted to share about a special person that I have really become close to. I have know her for a while and just thought "oh she's just Ellis's girlfriend", but after Ellis passed away I have really gotten to know Anne Marie very well. She is just such a caring a sweet person. I feel like alot of the time she doesn't understand why different things have happened in her life but I can already tell so many positive things that have come from such a devastating and tragic event. Anne Marie if you read this know that you have such a strong support system. We will always be here for you. You are Aiden's grandmother too! :) We love you so much and we thank you for making Ellis so happy! In his last days on earth he knew you were there right by his side every single day and night.
Okay enough with the sappy mess...No real changes have happened here. Aiden is crawling like crazy, in to every single thing he can put his hands on. He is pretty independent. He will sit in the corner with his toys and dance and play for the longest time. Kinda nice for me because I can get a lot more done around the house. If he doesnt get his way..you know it. He will do this pitiful whining cry. If we tell him no he looks at us for a minute and then gets big alligator tears in his eyes. Very cute. We are just loving watching him grow and become a little toddler too soon!
Believe it or not..we are about to have to start planning a one year old's birthday party. Has it really been a year?? I will let everyone know the details as soon as we know what we are going to do. Anyway Aiden is up from his morning nap. Hope everyone is doing great!!