One Year Old

Yesterday I got Aiden's one year pictures done! Believe it or not I had them done at Sears and they did a great job. We had a party in Madison at my moms house with over 40 guests. Aiden had a blast, even though he just looked around at everyone trying to figure out what was going on... I will try to post the pictures from the party as soon as I download them to my computer.














The picture with the crane and heart pillow and picture of Aiden's papa, are items Ellis gave Aiden before he passed away. I surprised Justing having these done. The crane is because Ellis was a crane operator and so is Justin, the heart pillow is the pillow Ellis used after his heart surgery to protect his chest when he would cough, or stand from sitting, that kind of thing, the stuffed animal has a harley davidson jacket on that Ellis gave Aiden and Ellis loved Harley and the picture Ellis had that frame made for that picture of him and Aiden.

5k

This past weekend Justin and I walked out first 5k. We worked hard to accomplish something we never thought was possible and we did it! I was so worried I wouldn't finish in the hour time that they allotted but I made it is 51 minutes. I couldn't believe it. Justin walked it in 41 minutes. We were so proud of ourselved. My mom, sister and brother in law RAN a half marathon. That is 13.1 miles. My mom is such an inspiration to me. She has been training for a few years for marathons and she is awesome! Justin and I started this week working on a 8 week beginners running program. So far so good. Only on day 3 though. Monday I walked/ran 30 minutes. I thought I would die. But I pushed myself to finish. I could here my sister in the back of my mind saying "Don't quit Jame you can do it."
With Aiden getting older I want to set a good example for him. I was him to be able to say..."yea well my mom runs marathons." I know how awesome it is to say that to people. I want to show Aiden that exercise and being healthy is a very important part of our lives. I have abused my body for long enough. Now I have a motivation and a reason to strive to live my life in the best way possible. And who else could be such motivation than my son who I live my life for! It will be a long journey for me to get prepared for a marathon but I will do it!!! Hold me to it!!
Another motivation is the recent passing of my father in law. He had heart surgery in September and after his surgery he lost alot of weight and started to exercise and take better care of himself. But in the end it was just to late. I know he would want Justin and I to start now taking care of ourselves. The last mile of my 5k I devoted it to Ellis bc I knew he was pushing me. The heat was exhausting and I didn't think I could push on but I knew he was there telling me "Jamie, I know you can do this"..and I did it!! I miss Ellis so much, even though I wasn't really close to him, I think about him every single day. The fact that we will never see him again (in this life) is just unreal to me. But I know that he is in such a better place than us and he would be soooo pissed off if he knew anyone was upset over his death. We will always, always love you Ellis!!!
Another crazy event approaching is Aiden's one year birthday. I cannot believe it. Has it really been a year? My little tiny baby that I just walked through the door with on June 25 2008 is going to be a year?? I have been a little..ok..more than a little emotional about it. He is such a blessing to us. I never realized how much you could love someone until I had Aiden. The love a mother has for their child is unexplainable. Ok I have to move on...I am dying here..haha! On a side note, Aiden is actually walking. It is so cute. He walks with both arms out like a zombie. Every time he walks he just smiles ear to ear like "look at what I'm doing mommy." His little 2 inch long legs just go full speed until he falls. It will try to post a video of it soon. He still isn't saying much but to him he is. The bad thing is he has one of my old cell phones and he puts it up to his ear and "talks" ninety to nothing. The other day he had his hand going talking up a storm on the phone. He also takes the remote and points it at the tv. Not good!!! It is bad when those are the things your son has learned out of everything you have spent in a year teaching him!
Well I suppose that is all of the "news" going on around here. Hope everyone is doing well. Hopefully I can get some pics up soon!

Changes...

Today as I sit here and watch Aiden crawl around and be independent I just can't believe we have survived ten months of his tiny little life. I looked back at my blog today to some of the posts before I had Aiden and it seems like just yesterday I was taking "belly pics" and getting everything prepared for him to come. I remember I was so anxious to be induced and when he was here all I could thing was...man, all those nights I sat up thinking and watching TV I should have been sleeping. Especially after Aiden was born and I was up all night every night. Now that he has gotten older, I realize how bad I had postpartum depression. I was very very depressed when I had Aiden. I don't feel like I really "enjoyed" being a mommy or having such an angel until he was about 4 months. I wish I could go back and not worry so much about the small things and enjoy the beginning of his life. I would just worry and worry about every single aspect of his and my life. I worried about him eating, sleeping, his rashes, if he cried I felt a feeling of sheer panic, I wondered if his stomach hurt, or if he had gas, or if he was sleepy. It was a constant worry I never, ever relaxed and enjoyed him. So to all the new mothers reading this, or soon to be moms don't worry about the small things. Everything will be fine. As long as you give your child the love and care the they need everything will be ok. I promise. One day may be harder than the other but in the end everything will work out!
Anyways, I also wanted to share about a special person that I have really become close to. I have know her for a while and just thought "oh she's just Ellis's girlfriend", but after Ellis passed away I have really gotten to know Anne Marie very well. She is just such a caring a sweet person. I feel like alot of the time she doesn't understand why different things have happened in her life but I can already tell so many positive things that have come from such a devastating and tragic event. Anne Marie if you read this know that you have such a strong support system. We will always be here for you. You are Aiden's grandmother too! :) We love you so much and we thank you for making Ellis so happy! In his last days on earth he knew you were there right by his side every single day and night.
Okay enough with the sappy mess...No real changes have happened here. Aiden is crawling like crazy, in to every single thing he can put his hands on. He is pretty independent. He will sit in the corner with his toys and dance and play for the longest time. Kinda nice for me because I can get a lot more done around the house. If he doesnt get his way..you know it. He will do this pitiful whining cry. If we tell him no he looks at us for a minute and then gets big alligator tears in his eyes. Very cute. We are just loving watching him grow and become a little toddler too soon!
Believe it or not..we are about to have to start planning a one year old's birthday party. Has it really been a year?? I will let everyone know the details as soon as we know what we are going to do. Anyway Aiden is up from his morning nap. Hope everyone is doing great!!

Camo Pics

Since I have been threatened lately about not updating my blog I am just gonna update until yall are tired of reading about my crazy life!! :) Anyways here are some pics of you know who in camoflauge. A local photograher here asked us to be in a calender she was working on so we of course took advantage. Hope you enjoy.

Easter Pics

This year we spent Aiden's first Easter in good ole Mississippi. It was great to be with family. Here are some pictures of Ellis' memorial and Easter.
The first pic we are in front of one of Ellis' motorcyles.

Justin, Ashley, Aiden, Anne Marie and I at Ellis' memorial


Jill, Aiden and me

My stepdad Clark and me

My grandmother, mom and of course chunky butt


Aiden in his Easter best



My dad and Judy

Aiden and Callie (my moms cat)

Gone But Never Ever Forgotten

I haven't posted this yet, because honestly I just haven't come to terms with it yet. However, I hear Ellis in the back of my mind saying, "awe hell girl move on take care of that baby." So I here I go..

Ellis (Justins papa) passed away on April 1st at 6:00pm. When he took his last breathe he was surrounded by his closest family. In the end Ellis was fighting so hard to breathe and his girlfriend Anne Marie sang "Amazing Grace" to him and he peacefully took the last breathe he will ever breathe.

As I sit here and write this post I still cannot believe it. Sometimes it is so hard to understand why God takes people so very special to us. But we have to solely trust in him. His memorial was in Nebraska for all of this work friends and family and then he had on here in MS at a church that his distant family founded. His service was surrounded by his motorcycles (which was his passion) and all of the things he enjoyed.

If Ellis was here and I knew the past few months were some of his last I would write him a letter and this is what it would say..

Ellis,
Even though Justin and I have been together for almost ten years I have only become to know you personally in the last two. At first I just really didn't know what to think about you. We have always had a laid back, if something is wrong just silently deal with it kind of family. But then you came along and were as outspoken as they come. I always was a little scared when you would ask us to come to a restuarant with you bc if someone got your order wrong or if they weren't just exceptional with service you ALWAYS let them know. However, through all of that you taught me to stand up for what I want.
You have done an exceptional job in helping raise your two sons. Even though both of them have your temper...:) they have the kindest heart. You have shown them to stand up for what they believe. You have taught them to be strong hard workers and take pride in their jobs. You introduced them into the world of construction and that is their passion because you showed them how.
I will never forget your laugh. I will never forget the time I wanted to pay for dinner and you told me to shut up. I will never forget how you always told Aiden he was "papa's baby". I will never forget how your eyes lit up when you saw Aiden. I will never forget how Aiden's eyes lit up when he saw his papa.
I promise you Ellis everyday I will teach Aiden all about you. I will show Aiden to be strong and stand up for himself like you did. We will at least once at day point to the sky and wave to papa. I will show the pictures of you to him and he will know you as if you were still here.
I am sorry you had to go. But you will never ever ever be forgotten, after all how could anyone forget you. We love you more than you will ever know!
Love,
Jamie

The Precious Man you are Praying For..

Here are some pics to go with the name of the man you will be praying for....He is precious and needs you..




.